Вицови & Смешки

[DarthJe5us]

[Stratro]

Го крстиле Тихомир бидејќи се родил во предизборниот молк.

[Stratro]

Q: Why do Opels have heated rear windows?
A: To keep your hands warm when you're pushing them.

Q: What's the difference between an Opel and the principal's office?
A: It’s less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.

Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Opel user's manual?
A: The train and bus schedule.

Q: What is the sport-version of an Opel?
A: The driver wears Nike shoes.

Q: How do you make a Rolls Royce leak oil?
A: Stick an Opel badge onto it.

Q: What do you call an Opel at the top of a hill?
A: A miracle.

Q: What do you call an Opel with dual exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow.

Q: How do you double the value of an Opel?
A: Half fill it with petrol.

Q: What do you call an Opel with brakes?
A: Customized

Q: What do you have to do if your Opel gets in the way of a Swarm of killer bees?
A: Stop pushing and take refuge in the car.

Q: What is the Opel owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.

Q: What do you call a Opel with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack.

Q: How do you make an Opel go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.

Што е сличност меѓу Алфа и коцка шеќер?
- И двете  се слатки и се раствараат во вода.

[Simo - Carrier159]

Што е сличност меѓу Алфа и коцка шеќер?
- И двете  се слатки и се раствараат во вода.

Што слушаш кога ќе застанеш покрај Опел?
Слушаш како р`ѓосува.

[godofspeed]

Што е сличност меѓу Алфа и коцка шеќер?
- И двете  се слатки и се раствараат во вода.

Што слушаш кога ќе застанеш покрај Опел?
Слушаш како р`ѓосува.

И сопствениците на матиз исто,да не се осетат дискриминирано

[Stratro]

Што е сличност меѓу Алфа и коцка шеќер?
- И двете  се слатки и се раствараат во вода.

Што слушаш кога ќе застанеш покрај Опел?
Слушаш како р`ѓосува.

Why did the Alfa owner cross the road?
- To pick up the bits and pieces he left yesterday.

[Simo - Carrier159]

Што е сличност меѓу Алфа и коцка шеќер?
- И двете  се слатки и се раствараат во вода.

Што слушаш кога ќе застанеш покрај Опел?
Слушаш како р`ѓосува.

Why did the Alfa owner cross the road?
- To pick up the bits and pieces he left yesterday.

What would happen to an OPEL car if you used rust removal? It would disappear.

[Stratro]

Што е сличност меѓу Алфа и коцка шеќер?
- И двете  се слатки и се раствараат во вода.

Што слушаш кога ќе застанеш покрај Опел?
Слушаш како р`ѓосува.

Why did the Alfa owner cross the road?
- To pick up the bits and pieces he left yesterday.

What would happen to an OPEL car if you used rust removal? It would disappear.

Some say they never saw his face..just his legs sticking out from below his car.
All we now is..he is an Alfa owner.

[Ipkisija Meskosa]

[onak]

[Ipkisija Meskosa]

Дете ја прашува мајката:
-Мамо како настанале луѓето?
-Од мајмуни сине!
После тоа детето оди кај татко си:
-Тато како настанале луѓето?
-Господ ги створил сине!
-Ама мама вика дека се настанати од мајмуни ?!
-Остај ја мајка ти сине, таа ти збора за нејзината фамилија, јас ти кажувам за мојата.

[Simo - Carrier159]

Што е сличност меѓу Алфа и коцка шеќер?
- И двете  се слатки и се раствараат во вода.

Што слушаш кога ќе застанеш покрај Опел?
Слушаш како р`ѓосува.

Why did the Alfa owner cross the road?
- To pick up the bits and pieces he left yesterday.

What would happen to an OPEL car if you used rust removal? It would disappear.

Some say they never saw his face..just his legs sticking out from below his car.
All we now is..he is an Alfa owner.

What was left after a fatal Manta accident? - A golden chain and a mourning hair dresser.

[Stratro]

Што е сличност меѓу Алфа и коцка шеќер?
- И двете  се слатки и се раствараат во вода.

Што слушаш кога ќе застанеш покрај Опел?
Слушаш како р`ѓосува.

Why did the Alfa owner cross the road?
- To pick up the bits and pieces he left yesterday.

What would happen to an OPEL car if you used rust removal? It would disappear.

Some say they never saw his face..just his legs sticking out from below his car.
All we now is..he is an Alfa owner.

What was left after a fatal Manta accident? - A golden chain and a mourning hair dresser.

The only thing thing that depreciates faster than an Alfa Romeo is Comodorre 64 and Nokia 3310...and i`m not sure about the Nokia.

[Simo - Carrier159]

Што е сличност меѓу Алфа и коцка шеќер?
- И двете  се слатки и се раствараат во вода.

Што слушаш кога ќе застанеш покрај Опел?
Слушаш како р`ѓосува.

Why did the Alfa owner cross the road?
- To pick up the bits and pieces he left yesterday.

What would happen to an OPEL car if you used rust removal? It would disappear.

Some say they never saw his face..just his legs sticking out from below his car.
All we now is..he is an Alfa owner.

What was left after a fatal Manta accident? - A golden chain and a mourning hair dresser.

The only thing thing that depreciates faster than an Alfa Romeo is Comodorre 64 and Nokia 3310...and i`m not sure about the Nokia.

A man goes to a parts garage:
Man: "Can I have a windshield wiper for a Corsa please?"
Parts man: "Yeah, that seems like a fair swap."

[Stratro]

Што е сличност меѓу Алфа и коцка шеќер?
- И двете  се слатки и се раствараат во вода.

Што слушаш кога ќе застанеш покрај Опел?
Слушаш како р`ѓосува.

Why did the Alfa owner cross the road?
- To pick up the bits and pieces he left yesterday.

What would happen to an OPEL car if you used rust removal? It would disappear.

Some say they never saw his face..just his legs sticking out from below his car.
All we now is..he is an Alfa owner.

What was left after a fatal Manta accident? - A golden chain and a mourning hair dresser.

The only thing thing that depreciates faster than an Alfa Romeo is Comodorre 64 and Nokia 3310...and i`m not sure about the Nokia.

A man goes to a parts garage:
Man: "Can I have a windshield wiper for a Corsa please?"
Parts man: "Yeah, that seems like a fair swap."

How do you get spare parts for an Alfa?
Just follow another one around.